CHARACTERS

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Currently stranded off the coast of Mexico on a cruise ship, Uncle George is torn; he's happy he's missing work, but he's a little on the fence about how this entire thing might affect his health. Vacillating between extreme suspicion that the entire "virass thing" is a Deep State plot to discredit the current White House resident, and fury that as an American he hasn't been airlifted out by Seal Team Six, which he assumes just sits around waiting to save rednecks from their Guy Fiery Tex-Mex Cruises. "I don't know why we're testin' these people. If you don't test them then they won't have the virus. It's a no-brainer," says the guy without one.

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Stockbroker Pete is losing his shit. The markets are tanking and his clients are livid. Pete is suicidal and can’t understand why this is happening to him, of all people. He barely cheats on his wife and his taxes- why is his god punishing him for living such a (somewhat) chaste life? Totally unfair!

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Sir Nigel Scott– Globe-trotting Australian/South African/Nicaraguan documentarian who always seems to pop up on the globe’s hot spots, weirdly with Russian producing partners.

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Tiffany works in the White House as the Community Outreach Manager for FroYo Franchising in sub-Saharan Africa. Tiffany is just trying to keep her head down as POTUS wanders the hallways of the White House looking for scalps and an audience for his insanity. Tiffany is a low-level staffer whose community college degree from the Rachel Ray School of Cuisine and Taxidermy has not prepared her for her incredibly scary job of developing Trump Frozen Yogurt franchises in Africa. 

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Roger works at CNN as a fact-checker. Roger has managed to log 340 hours of overtime this month alone as he is working around the clock to fend off all the conspiracy theories emanating mainly from the right-wing nut-class, but also from the left. 

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Wanda is a mother of 9 from West Virginia. Woefully ignorant about what’s actually going on in the country- lives inside Fox News and right-wing radio. Thinks the entire coronavirus is a hoax and is anxiously waiting for the "miracle" that POTUS has said will come and wipe out the disease instantly. She home-schools all of her kids since she doesn't want them mingling with the "communist lefty snowflakes" in the public education system. She has also developed a dry cough. 

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Berkeley vegan Susan is quite sure she can avoid the coronavirus through mediation, yoga and triggering Conservatives. She has absolutely no time for the current WH resident and is not afraid in calling him out directly on social media, tweeting at the President every chance she gets. 

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Doctor Blankenship is an immunologist from Alabama who is dismayed by the lack of concern and preparation he/she is seeing in the country, and especially in Alabama and other red states, who seem to believe the President when he says ""It's going to disappear. One day it's like a miracle, it will disappear."

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Cindy is a young single mother of 3 who works in retail in Indiana (home of coronavirus Czar and VPOTUS Mike Pence)  and is required to go to work each day despite almost everything being closed. She's a low-information voter just trying to get through each day with two jobs in a country that doesn't care about her.

 

BJ is a neurotic social worker from Brooklyn who is freaking out over the coronavirus, and is also the brother of Uncle George. BJ is an AOC and Bernie fan and thinks that America has been overrun by billionaires and corporations. BJ owns a pigeon petting zoo which is about to go under as his tourist base has dried up. He is facing the real prospect of having to euthanize his pigeon population since they were all raised in captivity and wouldn't last 2 minutes in the wilderness of Brooklyn.  

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Andrew Peter Paul Mary Tontino works in the Vice President's Office as Spiritual Adviser to the Coronavirus Task Force. APPMT's job is to support those working with the VPOTUS on the virus response by way of prayer and miracle-worker fantasy. APPMT has never met a crisis he couldn't pray away (and also inevitably explain why the prayers weren't answered).

 

Matt is a producer at Fox News. He's in a bit of a pickle as he is responsible for the content of the network during the weekday mornings,  but has been given the mandate to cover pretty much everything but the coronavirus and the stock market collapse. We look in on Matt's daily conference call with his superior, 'Magic Mike Mulvaney,' who helps Matt navigate around actual news at the Be Outraged network.